I've had anxiety my whole life, although I didn't quite figure that out until four years ago. I thought it was normal to be afraid of the most random things, but that others just hid their fear better than me. I was okay living with my anxiety until I developed an uncontrollable phobia of flying while on a very calm flight from Baltimore to Providence at the age of 22. Ever since I developed my phobia, I've been completely afraid that of the feeling you get when falling. This isn't the full blown phobia type of fear luckily, but it's still there and not so fun to live with.
I am a huge lover of Walt Disney World, and I try to go every year. I LOVE their rides, and I trust Disney to take excellent care of all their attractions, so of course I know that I'd be safe on any ride I go on. However, the one ride I was too afraid to do was the Tower of Terror. For those of you who haven't been on it, it's more or less your typical drop ride. However, it is The Twilight Zone themed with a creepy pre-show, and each time you ride, it is completely random how many times and from what heights you will drop. This means you have no idea when you are going up or down at any point. You may be stopped halfway up to the top and drop, you might go all the way to the top and only fall half way, or you could even start the ride dropping before you've even gone up at all (as I recently learned). I was very brave and rode it once about 8 years ago, and it was awful. Not knowing what would happen was terrifying because I couldn't anticipate anything. I felt like the ride went on for many minutes when it was probably no more than 60 seconds in the elevator shaft. Plus, at one point when falling, I had time to scream, breath in again, and then continued screaming. The falling lasted forever!
I knew I had to conquer this fear. First, my children have seen me terrified by this ride, and my daughter was now just as scared as I was. I do not want to pass my fear of flying to her, so I needed to show her that fears could be overcome and that even if we are afraid we can still do what scares us. But also, I wanted to prove to myself that I can do anything. If I can conquer this fear, what else can I conquer? Anything! So when I was visiting Walt Disney World earlier this summer, I decided the time had come to conquer Tower of Terror.
The first time I went just with my son. Tower of Terror is his favorite ride, and he's been bugging me to go on it with him for years. The line was an hour long, mostly in the sun, and the wait was excruciating. It gave me plenty of time to be nervous! We finally got to the front of the line, and the Cast Member about to let us on the elevator was acting super creepy, and with the ambiance surrounding me, I felt like bailing. But I couldn't do that to my son, so when the door opened we stepped onto the ride.
It starts with Twilight Zone music, while you are slowly led through a hallway with a huge eyeball that stars at you along with a hologram of the people that perished in the elevator back in the 1930s. Then you are led to the elevator shaft. I was ready for that first moment when you are led high into the air, but the very first thing that happened was that we fell a couple stories. Of course, I screamed because I wasn't expecting to fall first thing! The ride then proceeded to go up and down a few times, and I screamed a ton while clutching the seat handles so hard I'm surprised they stayed attached to the seat. As you can see from the above video (I'm in the back row on the left), I couldn't even open my eyes.
When the ride was over and the door opened, I realized that the ride hadn't actually been that bad. Sure, I'd felt that tickling feeling in your stomach when you are pulled to the ground at 39 mph. But it hadn't been any different than other of the fast Disney rides I love such as Expedition Everest and Rock n Roller Coaster.
A few days later, my daughter wanted to rest up at the hotel in the morning, so again I went to Hollywood Studios with my husband and son. They wanted to go straight to Tower of Terror, so I agreed. This time, while still spooky, I wasn't as afraid. I even opened my eyes for one brief second while at the top when you can look out onto the park. When we got off, I decided I'd had fun and suggested we go on it again. I was able to keep my eyes open this time, and I enjoyed the feeling of leaving my seat while we fell down the elevator shaft.
I'm so pleased that I was able to overcome this fear. I told my daughter all about how I did, and she decided she may ride it in the future. Hopefully I've shown her that fears can be overcome, and that we need to trust in others to keep us safe. Now, I am ready to conquer my fear of flying. I'm planning a plane trip next summer, and while I'm very nervous, I now know that I can conquer this fear too.
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