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Pain Demands to Be Felt



Note: This post discusses death and grieving.


Life royally sucks sometimes! Yeah, I said it! If you have ever read any of John Green’s books or recently watched the series adaptation of his novel Looking for Alaska, then you know exactly what I mean. SPOILER ALERT BTW - his novels once again make us fall in love with a character just for he/she to be taken away.


In the case of Looking for Alaska, we fall in love with the charming, quirky Alaska who is killed in a horrific car wreck. Her band of friends, including the awkwardly adorable Pudge, wrestle with the idea that the car wreck may have been no accident.


So, this brings us to the topic at hand: grief. What a you-know-what?! It hits you out of left field, before you even know what’s going on. Sometimes it feels like you can't move on after losing someone, and adults tell you that it will get better. What they don't say is that it sucks for a while, but gradually the pain does get a little easier to deal with. It doesn't mean it just goes away, but that you've learned how to accept it. I lost one of my best friends last August, so I know what it’s like to feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. You wrestle with the notion of how unfair life is to take someone so young so early. It’s a difficult notion for anyone of any age to deal with. Regardless of whether someone passes unexpectedly or of old age, grief is something that you have to work through, or it will eat you up inside.


When I first read Looking for Alaska, back in high school I had experienced some loss in my life of older relatives. But, nothing like I faced when I lost Megan last August. So, when I watched the TV adaptation the story really hit home. While I didn’t lose her to suicide, I still lost her unexpectedly. That’s a grief like no other that I still struggle with to this day. Like Alaska’s friends, I wrestled with the ultimate life question: why???



So what is my advice as a slightly older, but not wiser, adult you ask? Well, if you see a friend suffering whether they want your assistance or not, say or do something. Don’t be an innocent bystander. You may think that you can’t have an impact, but you can. Just letting that friend know that someone is there for them helps more than you think. If you don’t feel your presence is enough, reach out to someone else, whether that be your parent or a trusted teacher. If it is you that is suffering, then remember that your friends and even the adults in your life are there for you no matter what, as is your band of friendly librarians.


This post was written in memory of Megan Burnett.

Ashleigh Edwards, Library Associate


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